A New Pup

 Years ago I made a dream board. On it was a house, a financial map to become debt free, and a Great Dane. I now have all those things. Hank the Great Dane is the best dog and we as a family love him to the moon and back. Unfortunately, Great Danes only live on average about 8 years. Hank turned 8 this year and we are bracing ourselves for his exit. 

In other, somewhat related news, I really enjoy mountain biking. My wife and kids either don't want to or can't ride with me, so sometimes I bring Hank the Great Dane along for the ride. Great Danes aren't built to run long distances and I've been looking for a trail buddy. 

My daughter is now 9 years old and my wife and I are trying to teach her the ways of the world and what it  takes to work hard and be successful. Taking care of someone other than yourself is one of the best ways to learn that lesson. 

A few weeks ago we went to the store and a family saw a litter of puppies being given away outside the store. They were half pit bull and half husky, although we suspect there are more breeds involved, making these dogs mostly mixed breed. Mixed breed are often the best dogs. The stars aligned and in that moment we decided to take one home. 

This is Bear the "Pitsky" and he is Claire's dog. He can't stand being alone and at about 4 am he thinks its time to be up for the day. We are strong believers that Dogs are good for mental health and generally make all aspects of life better. I got my trail buddy, Claire got her responsibility pet and this pup will hopefully help close the pet void we feel when Hank is gone. It's a win win win. ....well we lose a little when this pup has pee accidents inside, but we are working past that. 

Go get a dog! they're good for you

Let's Talk about Money

 A few months back I graduated college...well not for the first time. This was a Masters program in Social Work. I've been working in the field since then and I recently passed my licensure test. I'm making a decent income and my wife works full time as well. I also recently discovered I'm an adult now, which comes with a certain set of responsibilities. 

Apparently I can no longer go shopping and pick up two boxes of Oatmeal Cream Pies, one of which I eat on the way home. Not only can I not do this because my wife and kids want real food to eat, but my body can't really take that abuse anymore. 

As an adult I've been thinking a lot about money. Money is the reason I do a lot of things I don't really want to do, like getting up to an alarm. I despise getting up to an alarm, but I've gotta be to work at a certain time and without the alarm I'd likely lose my job. I need money so I can go grocery shopping and not buy Oatmeal Cream Pies. I need money to pay bills and fill my car with gas. I need money to be an adult. 

But...

What if I didn't?  

I've been working to eliminate these expenses as much as possible and I've actually been able to gain some ground on my need for money as an adult. Marilyn and I bought a house that has a separate entrance for the basement. We have been working to make this basement its own separate apartment beneath our feet. We put up some walls, made some bedrooms...it still doesn't have a kitchen but we're getting there. Once it's all done and rented out, that basement apartment will pay a few of my bills. The most notable and largest bill is my mortgage. One less bill and one less adulting task I don't have to think about anymore. One step closer to waking up when I feel like it. 

If I continue to take these steps and save some money along the way, in a few years I'll be free. This doesn't mean I don't want work anymore, I love working and plan to continue. I just want to do the kind of work I really enjoy, which does not involve punching a time clock or completing lengthy reports for everything I do. 

I'm currently saving almost 50% of every paycheck with a goal to save 100% and just live off Marilyn's income. By my calculations that will allow me to stop working a 9-5 job in about 8 years. Again, this does not mean I'm going to live on Oatmeal Cream Pies and watch Netflix all day. I'm a therapist now and I plan to continue working. I will simply be able to work on my own terms. 

When I was a kid I couldn't wait to be an adult so I could make some decisions. Then I became an adult and longed for the freedom of childhood. This plan allows me to take some of that freedom back. 

I Graduated!! ...What's Next

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I, Zach Duty, have completed a Master's degree in Social Work at the University of Utah. It was a difficult 3 years but we got it done. I'm now practicing as a therapist and working toward licensure. My family and I are living in Cedar City and enjoying every day.

(We didn't have a graduation, so here is a throwback to when I got my associates)

As I watch the days fly by and see my kids growing up I am reminded of how fleeting life can be. I set a goal a few years back after my brother passed away(far left in the photo), to provide free therapy to this in need and now I am capable of doing that. I'm currently working 4 jobs(3 of them are very part time), I work full time doing community outreach for the government, I do a couple of hours a week of therapy groups at a local residential treatment center, I do individual therapy at a private practice, and I'm working with a non profit that subsidizes the cost of therapy. So, although our reach isn't that far just yet, this is a great step towards my goal.

I set the goal to become a therapist and provide free therapy because my brother needed some help and paying for therapy was a barrier to getting that help. He had other barriers, as most people do, but the cost was one of them. If I can help break down a barrier and make it just a little easier for someone to get the help they need, I'm totally willing to do that.

Other barriers may include the stigma around mental health treatment. That is where the non-profit comes in. The Overt Foundation is working towards breaking down that barrier by creating a platform where anyone can share their story and anyone can read the stories of others.

Check out    https://overtfoundation.org/share/ to share your story, or https://overtfoundation.org/stories/ if you want to read the stories of others.


We are all human and capable of making mistakes and experiencing challenges. Everyone has struggled and everyone has a story. Share it.

Our NICU Baby

We have been anxiously awaiting the arrival of our new guy for several months and he is finally here! Marilyn woke up around 4am on the morning of August 28th feeling some contractions. She wasn't sure at first if it was the real deal so she tried to sleep through the pain at first. She finally got up and walked around a bit and decided to wait an hour and see if the contractions kept up. She woke me up around 5:45 and let me know it was time.

She had started to dilate several weeks ago so we had been feeling that this moment could come anytime for  a while. I was hoping it would happen while I was at work so I would get to leave early, but I was plenty excited when Marilyn woke me up early that morning. We headed to he hospital quickly and got checked in.

She was already dilated to a 5 when we arrived. With Claire she started at a 4 and the process lasted several hours. This time around it happened fast. Marilyn dilated an additional centimeter every hour. The problem was, she tested positive for group b strep. The doctors wanted her on an antibiotic for 4 hours before she delivered. She would have definitely delivered before that, but they held things off so she could get the drugs needed.

The 4 hours was complete at 11:30 and they broke her water. I started a camera when she started to push and it only rolled for 7 minutes. She had our baby boy out in less than 7 minutes. Crazy fast. Our baby boy was born at 11:51, and this is when I got scared.

He came out looking a little red and covered in fluid as babies often do. The doctor started cleaning him up and trying to get his first cry out but it wasn't happening. The doc called for the NICU team to come in. Seconds were passing and he still hadn't taken his first breath. He started to turn slightly blue before they finally got a squeak out of him. They got him breathing which was a huge relief but he was grunting and struggling a lot. They let Marilyn hold him for a minute before taking him into the NICU and hooking him up to a breathing machine called a CPAP. It helped his lungs expand all the way and they hoped he would only be on it for half an hour.

Meanwhile in the delivery room Marilyn was having difficulty regulating her temperature. She was shaking like a leaf and couldn't get warm. So my kid couldn't breathe and my wife was freezing to death(exaggeration) and I was trying to be tough and keep it together. I sat by our baby through his first half hour on the CPAP and Marilyn was able to warm up after about an hour. As I sat with my new baby, fighting back the tears and an emotional melt down, I felt something.

My younger brother Alex died a few months ago and since then I've felt like he was my link to life on the other side of the veil or the afterlife. I believe that the place your spirit lives before you are born and the place it goes after you die is the same place. I sat there in the NICU with my new baby, only minutes old and struggling to breathe, and I felt my brother's presence. I was still scared but it was comforting to think that maybe my baby boy and my brother spent some time together before he was born. I don't know if that is even possible but it was still a nice thought and it made me feel better.

Unfortunately his lungs weren't getting the job done on their own so he had to stay on the CPAP for a few days. The doctors said he had some kind of infection but they weren't sure what it was. So, he stayed in the NICU, they tried different antibiotics and over time he improved. They did a lumbar puncture in his spine to test the fluid in there and see if he had any kind of brain disease. Everything came back clean but he was still sick.

We decided to name him Timothy, a biblical name which means "honor God." Alexander, which means "protector" and is also my younger brother's first name. Timothy Alexander Duty. He improved daily but the doctors never figured out what he had, they just knew he was sick. After a few days we got to hold him and Marilyn got the opportunity to nurse him. He is still in the NICU but we hope he continues to improve and comes home soon. I'm really not too worried anymore, I think he has his own personal guardian angel on the other side.

The Golden Days of Summer

Anybody remember being a kid during summertime? It was a magical time with zero obligations. You woke up in the morning and the only thing on your agenda was the best ways to have fun and play. I feel like Claire is experiencing that time right now and I want to make it as sweet for her as it was for me. Summertime is about water balloon fights, otter pops, and fireworks. It is about sleeping in and staying up late. We have been doing lots of fun things lately and I don't want to spoil her but I do want to make some great memories.

I posted this picture on my instagram yesterday and it totally reminds me of my own childhood. My dad worked at Wet and Wild when I was a kid, which meant free water park passes for my family. During the summer we spent at least three days a week at the park. We constantly had wet shorts and popsicle stains on our faces I remember it as a golden age in my childhood. Some days we were able to ride every slide in the park in a single visit.

This is how a kid should spend their summer. Not with their eyes glued to the screen of a tablet or sitting in front of a TV. Get out and take the summer back today.

Good Grief

This is a topic I haven't shared much about considering how big apart of my life it is right now. My little brother Alex died three months ago. I didn't see it coming but I should have. Alex left the mortal world willingly, after fighting severe depression for about a year. I knew he was hurting but I had no idea how much pain he experienced on a daily basis. His loss has been hard on friends and family and many of us are going through cycles of grief.

To fully explain my own grief, I need to go back in time a few years. I have dedicated the last five years of my life to working with youth and multiple treatment centers. I've had the privilege to spend time with a lot of great kids. Many of them shared their stories with me  and opened up about their struggles. Some of these stories are really heart breaking. I always tried my best to be a supportive mentor and help in any way that I could.

When I received the news about Alex I was driving to a job interview with Utah's Juvenile Justice division. I couldn't believe it was real and I experienced the first step of the grief process.

1. Denial:

I didn't believe that Alex was really gone I asked my dad on the phone three times what he was talking about. This didn't last very long before I moved into the next stage.

2. Anger:

I had to table my anger to an extent because I chose to go through with the job interview I was driving to. I thought that if I went, and I got the job I could be a lot closer to my family during the tough times to come.
When I got home I wouldn't let anyone hug me. I'm a Southern boy and we often solve problems with our fists. I felt like I needed to fight someone. Only there was no one to fight. Alex wasn't murdered, he made the choice himself. But I wasn't mad at him. My eyes had finally been opened to the pain he had been experiencing over the last year. So, my anger turned to myself for not being there when he needed me.

3. Bargaining:

I took the anger and frustration I was feeling with myself and I started going through all the options the could have happened. I call this playing  out the "should-a, would-a, and could-as."
I was driving to Northern Utah for my job interview the night he died and there is a small possibility that, I had driven straight to him, I could have stopped him. The problem is, I had no idea where he was, nor did anyone else. This is one example of something that really couldn't have happened but I can't help but think about all the possibilities. The things I wish I had done differently. This is what bargaining looked like for me.

4. Depression and Isolation:

This happened earlier for me. I mentioned that I wouldn't let anyone hug me. I have felt sad throughout the process and continue to feel it. I don't think I will ever stop missing him. I didn't fall into the kind of depression that keeps you from getting up in the morning and losing motivation to live. The depression is very real and can be totally debilitating.

5. Acceptance:

Alex wrote me a letter before he died. He had chosen to say goodbye in his own way long before I realized. In the letter he told me that I am strong, and that I will survive this and continue to thrive. This gave me the drive I needed to keep living. It wouldn't have made him happy for me to mope around for the rest of my life. I now try to live for Alex in any way that I can. I still live for me and my family but I often think what Alex would do. I ended up getting the job I interviewed for and I'm currently staying with my parents. This has been really helpful for both parties. We often stay up late sharing fun memories of Al. Living for him has helped me get to this stage.



I am not a therapist or any kind of mental health professional but I still learned a lot over the years. In reality I didn't know anything. I thought I knew pain but I wasn't able to see the full extent of the real pain my own brother was experiencing.

Not long after Alex died I made the decision to become a mental health professional. I am going back to school for a masters degree next semester with he intent of becoming a therapist. I hope to eventually to offer my services for free if possible so that those in need don't have the financial excuse as to why they are not getting the mental help that they need.

I am still in the grief cycle. I have gotten to acceptance but I often go back to bargaining and sometimes anger. I imagine others are going through similar cycles in their own ways. I hope those of you going through the pain of this loss are reaching out in healthy ways. Anyone who is a friend to Alex is a friend to me. I'd love to talk to anyone who wants to share their experience with my brother.  Thanks for reading. Its helpful for me to write out my feelings and doing it this way makes me feel like maybe someone who is still really hurting can find some peace.

Feel free to contact me here or
Email: zachary.duty@gmail.com
or through the face book group where I will post this.

Take care on the other side my brother. 

Back At It

Back at It

After several years off I'm posting a blog. Many of you may know that I maintain a full time Vlog(video blog) called Your Daily Duty's. I spend a lot of time on the videos and I let blogging here fall by the wayside. I do enjoy the written word in addition to video so I'm recommitting to this blog. 

To start back up I want to set some goals. I've already shared some of these goals on my vlog, but it is a lot easier to organize my thoughts in writing. 

2016 Goals

• Run a marathon in less than 4 hours
• Pay off my car
• 1 month challenges

Long Term Goals

• Pay off all my debts: car, student loan, house, etc.
• Live financially free
• Travel: RV/Sailboat
• Provide free counseling

Some of these goals require a little explanation. Starting from the top. The first two are self explanatory but the third is a little different. I have an additional youtube channel called 1 month challenge. It is all about doing something for 30 days and seeing what kind of results you get. Right now I'm in the middle of trying to learn a song on the piano. I have no previous piano experience so it is a little tricky. My month is over and I just about have the song learned. Next month I'm planning on either going on 1 hike every day or possibly something else, I'm open to suggestions. 

Next up is paying off my debts and living financially free. My paycheck every month would go more than twice as far if I didn't have any loans to pay on. All I would have to pay is utilities, food and taxes. Being debt free brings a lot of freedom. I hope to create enough passive income to free me up so I can work on the things I really enjoy. You may notice most of these goals connect. 

Passive income is any money made without having to really do anything. A rental property that has positive cash flow after the mortgage is paid is an example of passive income. I hope to create more passive income and grow my youtube channel enough to provide an income fro my family. Which leads me to my next goal.

Providing free counseling is a huge one. In order to do that I need to be able to provide fro my family in other ways. Many people neglect their mental health needs because they can't afford it of they don't see it as a necessity. I know first hand that it very much is a necessity and I want to take away the excuse of cost. 

I think it would be really cool to travel around in a RV meeting with people, providing free counseling and getting a chance to see there world while were at it. Likely, most sessions would be via video chat but meeting face to face is also valuable. 

I'm still in the early stages of these goals and I have a lot of things to work out. Posting them here makes me more accountable. I'll post more on how I intend to achieve each goal. 

Its good to be back and I hope you stick with me. Be sure to check out our youtube channel: youtube.com/zachattackduty